I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
