Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize