I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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