Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
