Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
