he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Everything about him screamed your future.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
