I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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