You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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