Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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