i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
