party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh god it's open bar.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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