She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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