Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
