Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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