In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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