I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
