Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
