I heard we made out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
