did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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