i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
