I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
