Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
