my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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