You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
