Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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