shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize