so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am available for nakedness
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
do nipples grow back?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
