My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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