Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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