I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
