I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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