we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
