had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
