i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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