just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
