"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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