I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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