I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We need to rekindle our bromance
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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