Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
