Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize