its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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