i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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