I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
