listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
