I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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