# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize