Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
