I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
