I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
