I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
