I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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