Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
