Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
