He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
