just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
