At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
