Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
