Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
