so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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