I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Where is the hickey?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
