theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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