I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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