I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
