I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
