we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i drank out of a bidet.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize