She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
