He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize