Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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