maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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