it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
